sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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