i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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