so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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