im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize