She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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