So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Found your dick twin last night
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize