He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
