If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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