If i come over, it means nothing
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
