My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize