i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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