he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
