he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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