i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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