haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
