I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize