I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
