I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
