a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
