How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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