apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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