i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
