I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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