I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
