Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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