im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
