im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
