what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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