Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize