i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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