So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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