Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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