Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize