I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
