I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
