mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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