I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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