I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
