I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
