I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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