Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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