I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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