Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Randomize