there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize