I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
my poor anus
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
