do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
