Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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