my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
