Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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