hotel room ftw
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
