Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize