my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
