She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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