Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Drunk is not a location!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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