I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Who died my cat blue again?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
